When your kids go astray no matter how hard you pray

“It’s even harder when your kids are older.” I heard this over and over again as I was wrangling my 4, then 5, then 6 kids who were 10 years old and younger into some semblance of order. I refused to believe that. Nothing could be harder than this!

But I was wrong. The little ones took a lot of energy and patience, for sure. But these older kids… Well, they seem to take full advantage of their free will when they reach the legal age, and some start even sooner.

We teach them the ways of God, we pray for them and with them, we do our best to lead them to Jesus. And how do they thank us? They go out and try everything you told them to avoid. Why do they do that?

I know that some kids make it through without being tempted by the things of the world. I certainly did. But that didn’t mean I didn’t have lots of issues inside. I had lots of jealousy, pride, and arrogance that I hid in my heart.

But the ones who go out and do things that cause shame and sadness in our mama hearts, why do they do that? 

I think that some of it is just their own personality, or decisions that they make in their hearts. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, and you can lead your kids to truth, but you can’t make them think! 

But I also believe there’s a bigger problem here. I believe that the enemy is trying to steal our seed. The Lord gives us godly seed to keep His story being told. But they are being led astray and taken captive by the enemy of our souls.

He brings the wrong people their way. He plants thoughts in their minds. He twists their thinking so that they misconstrue things that people say and events that happen. He takes advantage of their immaturity and naivete.

When this first started happening to my kids after they got jobs, I was distraught. I wondered what I did wrong, what I could have done differently. I was very hurt and confused by the way they were acting. I felt guilty for what they were doing. It felt like it was my fault for not teaching them better. I thought I must not have explained things to them, things that they needed to know. 

Some of that may be true. But I kept praying about it and asking the Lord what I should do. One day when I was crying out to Him about it, He gently reassured me that I had dedicated them to Him as children. And I taught them the ways of the Lord. I led each one of them to accept Jesus. I loved them, took care of them, and helped them the best that I could. And I set up barriers to keep them from sinful ways. It wasn’t my fault that some of them were choosing to run roughshod over those barriers into all kinds of trouble.

I felt better after that. A big part of the burden was lifted off of me. I had some friends who were having similar struggles with their grown kids. I tried to encourage them with what the Lord told me.

This era is a very difficult time to raise godly children. So much sin is right out in the open. It’s easily accessible on the internet, on TV, on magazine covers, on the radio, and almost everywhere you go in public. The standards of society have declined so much that almost anything goes. The morals of the younger generation are almost non-existent. 

But I still have hope for our children. I have hope for those who have been raised up in godly homes. I believe the verses in the Bible that say, “If you train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it,” and “Our children are taught of the Lord and great is the peace of our children.” My husband and I declare these verses over our children every night. And we also declare that they will fulfill their prophetic destinies.

We are seeing changes in some of them since we started doing this. One son has returned to the Lord and is preparing for the ministry now. One daughter has acknowledged that she can’t live life without the Lord.

I know that the things they went through will only add to their testimony and help them relate to others so they can minister more effectively. And I believe that those who have been forgiven much love much.

I also believe that all things work together for our good.

So I’m excited to see what the future holds for them, even though some of them are still wandering. I also have some prophetic words to hold onto that were spoken over them in the past. This gives me so much hope.

I trust God to take care of them and to lead them back to Himself. I am anxiously awaiting that day! 

In the meantime I’ll just keep loving them and speaking life over them. I’ll do my best and let God take care of the rest.